Monday, 26 February 2007

trifecta of crapitude

So Friday was not the best day.

First, we had received a gas bill for the house we are still trying to get rid of in Chicago. This is a house we have not been inside in months. Heat set at 55 to keep pipes from bursting, from freezing, anyway. Nothing cooked since early september. It seems to me like the expenses to maintain a house in suspended animation should be rather small. The gas bill received was $330. For one month. This, I thought absurd. No one must have been able to read the meter (we aren't there, after all). It must have been some crazy estimate, assuming we would have used much more gas than last January, when we actually lived there. The last time I was in town I did stop by for just this eventuality, and read the meter myself. I call the gas company with reading in hand. "Oh, no no noooo, they say. We read the meter with a satellite, they say. It must cost $11 a day to run your water heater, which surely you haven't turned off, have you?"

*^!!#$$%%!!!!!@!! satellites!
#@#$W%(&^%@! Gas company!!!!

Then, the gallery director in the big O! (seriously, that's like a town slogan. Its Everywhere. O!. It looks like either Oprah has bought the town outright and is making it a subsidiary of the magazine or the town has decided to adopt a whiny, jewish accent "oi" when discussing itself, but I digress) came by the studio. Didn't really seem to care for the work I have here, reiterated that "everyone knows you have to wait at least two years between shows". Then she suggested I do some "scenic views of downtown", as that's what they really like here. You know, Nebraska stuff/Crap. Really makes one wish for a decent gallery in this town. Some place to actually want one's work.

Then, I get a call on my cell phone. Its Sandy, the real estate agent. The last time she called me like this I was very excited until she told me about the drunk driver who had driven his car through the intersection and into our garage/fence. Needless to say, my excitement did not last long. So I was able to restrain my hopes of a story that begins "I have some good news...". What I got was "I've got something to tell that will make your day worse..." Water, lots of water. Thankfully, the water was probably plenty warm (see crap #1 above). But it was gushing into our kitchen from 1-5 days. The pipe did not burst, like a normal pipe, but instead, pulled off the other pipes, pointed straight out int the room and fire-hosed unabated. Luckily, Sandy pointed out. that's what we have insurance for. However, seeing as we have not recieved any reimbursement for the sewer work we had done early last spring, before Eloise was born, nor the drunken garage killer from this fall, so the wonders of Erie Insurance aren't thrilling me on the inside.

Here's pulling for Monday.


momster said...

Crap Cubed INDEED!
Please, please, please, do not take that woman's advice and do downtown scenes!!!!! Just WHAT is she basing this on, anyway!?! (I know you didn't need me to tell you that.) That is just ridiculus!
And I won't be signing up for Erie Insurance anytime soon.

bladio said...

that gallery director is a poophead. how disappointing! i echo momster - don't listen to her! the woodmen tower-scape is old news.

pete. said...

Maybe you should paint a series of very pornographic O's.

Kate said...

Now that you have the opportunity, you can remodel the kitchen and move back to Chicago....

kww said...

pornographic Os--I like that.

Okay, but how was Monday.
Big picture--it will sell. Someday. We will be reimbursed by insurance. Someday. No one was hurt or killed and we didn't have to live in the flood.

I love you.
I am sorry.